Are you feeling stressed out or wound up?
Nervous or apprehensive?
Are you plagued with worries over concerns like, "What happens if I have an erection? What happens if I don't? What happens if I ejaculate? I'm nervous about being naked. Is this like cheating?"
Do you have any internal conflict about deciding to go for Tantra massage?
If so, this conflict can be the cause of being unable to relax.
Resolve the inner conflict and the stress melts.
You could have inner conflict because of growing up in a sexually repressive culture, struggling to overcome beliefs you've taken on. False beliefs about your body, sexuality, intimacy and pleasure.
So while there's a part of you that would love to experience the bliss of a Tantra massage. There's another part trying to pull you back from it.
You may find it difficult to relax for many reasons.
Are you on your own right now? In a place where you won't be disturbed for a minute or so. Yes? Great! If not, bookmark this page and come back to it later.
Now, think about not being able to relax enough to benefit from a Tantra massage. Feel into your body in this moment.
Where do you feel that tension? That anxiety about being unable to relax. In your chest? Solar plexus? Neck or shoulders? Somewhere else?
Your body and mind are intimately connected so the thought that you may not be able to relax will be felt somewhere in your body.
Did you feel it? Breathe into that feeling in your body for a half a minute or so. Did you feel your body relax a little as you did?
Breathing into, and connecting with your body is a powerful way to bring you into a state of ease and inner peace.
The breath you'll be gently guided into in a Divine Ground Tantra Massage will help you to deeply relax and ensure you'll benefit from the experience.
Don't worry if you didn't feel anything in your body. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong. That's just a sign that you're experiencing a disconnection from your body in the moment.
Everyone is trained to live in their heads in this culture. How many times growing up were you told "Use your head"?
While this is fabulous advice for some aspects of your life, it's disastrous for others. You can't experience intimacy in your head.
Too many people substitute fantasy and projection, which are mind activities, for intimacy. and then wonder why they don't have satisfying relationships. Or often feel alone in relationship.
They're puzzled at how they can be so successful in other areas of their lives, but not in love, sex and intimacy. What works in the boardroom, or on the building site, doesn't work in the bedroom.
Physical and emotional intimacy, with yourself or another, requires that you be present. IN your body in each moment.
A Divine Ground Tantra Massage is one designed to help you relax in the first few minutes of the session and to be fully present in your body and connected with your heart. And this is so that you can get the most from your experience.
To go straight into receiving touch would be unwise because you could only receive at the level of connection you have with your body at the outset.
So first we'll spend a few minutes in conversation about what you would like to get from your session and what your intention for the session may be. Then you'll be gently guided into a simple breathing pattern and encouraged to breathe in this way for the rest of the session.
Along with a guided meditation, this will assist you in connecting deeply with your body. It's almost impossible while you're breathing in this way for your mind to keep chattering.
Combined with the meditation, this breath takes you into a deep intimacy with your body while your mind goes silent.
It's not unusual for a man, nervous on arrival, to relax deeply in the first few minutes of a Divine Ground Tantra Massage.
To completely shift from stress to ease.
A short Tantric eye-gazing ritual follows. Then an honouring ritual, which is a beautiful preparation for the massage. This is usually enough to melt any remaining shred of tension.
Imagine feeling melted into a deep state of ease and inner peace before receiving any touch at all!
This is the optimum state to be in before the massage starts. At peace, your mind silent, feeling a deep intimacy with your body and soul. The state in which you're likely to get the most benefit from your experience.
One of the reasons why a Divine Ground Tantra Massage is 2 or 3 hours in duration is because you need time to switch off from the outside world.
That doesn't happen in an instant. Especially if you're in any way nervous or apprehensive at the start. And you'd by unusual if you weren't. That's the most normal feeling in the world to have before your first appointment.
Do you know that your subconscious mind is always out to protect you and is on alert in any new experience you move toward? It doesn't matter how much you've read up about it or how much you want to jump into it.
Typical questions that arise in the subconscious are "What's this all about? Where's he going? Will he be safe here?" Your subconscious is doing what it's designed to do.
So it may happen that you need to have that first experience before your subconscious can let go. This is the same process with anything you do for the first time that may push on the edge of your comfort zone.
You may find it's only on your second Divine Ground Tantra Massage that you can completely unwind as you know what it's all about then.
One thing's for sure, if you don't try, you'll never know. And you're guaranteed to miss out on all the benefits then!
So what if it takes you a session or two to relax fully? Considering the benefits to be had wouldn't it be wise to give yourself permission to do that. Giving yourself that permission may in itself help you to relax.
Our culture trains men to do 4 things - To produce, protect, provide and perform. And to base their sense of self-esteem on how well they do the above.
Note; receiving isn't on that list. It should be!
So it's no wonder that you might find it difficult to receive and find it hard to relax into receiving. You're not alone in this one, that's for sure.
Yet there is a natural law of balance as inexorable as gravity and you have to receive if you want to keep giving. You can't swing too far out to one side without this law coming into play and without it bringing you back to balance.
Why wait to get hit by life's 4" x 2"? When you could begin to get your life back into balance in a much more pleasurable way today?